Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
