You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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