I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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