I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
