Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
