Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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