if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
