I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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