I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
