he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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