Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
