I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
