i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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