Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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