I don't think brook has ever known best
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
