she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
