is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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