The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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