ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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