i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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