I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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