Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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