Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
