when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
