So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
