Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
