Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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