We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
