Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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