I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
