When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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