Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
