shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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