Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
