Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
