This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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