it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
