It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
