I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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