is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
