he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
