I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize