i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
