He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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