You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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