Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
