Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
