Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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