I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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