weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
